new chapters...get ready boys

Previously, I've been directing this blog towards the weird things that happen to me on a daily basis and my experience in relationships. But lately, I've been inspired by twitter and my friends to direct this blog more towards boys. 


Now, I know what you're thinking - oh great another girl in her early twenties giving advice about the male gender (and yes I did finally graduate from my teens). But my best friend and I were comparing notes about our relationships since we're basically dating the same boy (not the same, but so similar it's kind of laughable) and we decided that the majority of men are rather clueless when it comes to dating. There are some exceptions - if you're on twitter, Son of a Fratter is basically the one large exception to this rule. Boys (if boys even read blogs) follow him, follow his advice, and I promise you will find the lady you've always dreamed of. 


If you ask a woman, dating is not that difficult. Men - my boyfriend included - love to roll their eyes at this comment, but in all honesty it really isn't that hard. My mom (gotta love her) compared dating to one of her favorite tv shows, Dancing With The Stars - there are some basic steps and a few more advanced moves, then you make it your own and come out with a perfect 30. Thanks, mom...


Be forewarned, I will be giving advice to girls too. It will, in majority, be a resource for you to pull up on your laptop, show your boyfriend, and point and say (with gusto) hah!! (because you're not crazy) But, don't be surprised if there are a few things on there that he points to with the same amount of emphasis. A relationship is a two way street and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. But, for the most part, it is the men that are the struggling half. 


With that being said, as far as advice goes, why not start at the beginning?


A first date, to me, is the deciding factor about a guy. If it goes horribly, if he's rude, if I'm uncomfortable all night...I know that it's not worth pursuing. (Don't freak out - yes there are exceptions, but there are exceptions to every rule. Keep that in mind in this blog.) Does this mean you have to throw down $100 on dinner + flowers + romantic walks in the park every time? NO (except maybe that last one). A first date should be fun and an awesome way for you to 'introduce' yourself to this person. You should be open, charming, and a true southern gentleman. So to help, here are the top five most important things to remember on a first date: 


1) PUT YOUR CELL PHONE AWAY. There is no bigger turn off then being at dinner with a new guy and having him constantly on his phone, muttering 'uh-huhs' and 'mmhmms' to what I'm saying when he has no idea what we're talking about. Does that mean you can't pull it out to check for a message? No - but don't pull it out every five minutes. That makes it look like we're boring and you're just counting the minutes until you can leave. Be respectful, try not to take any phone calls, and just enjoy the evening with us. 

2) Take charge of the date. We do not want to decide where to go. We will never tell you this, but it is true. Ask us what kind of place and/or food we like and then pick a place like that. Do not leave it up to us to choose. You are the man. Act like one.

3) Smile. When we arrive, smile. Maybe you are a tough guy. Maybe you are nervous. Maybe you are paralyzed. Either way, smile. Women are strange, exotic, intuitive creatures, and we respond well to positive reinforcement. Do not glower at us. You will scare us.

4) Be inquisitive. Or rather, ask questions. This seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how many times I've had to completely carry a conversation with a man. You know what women like? Attention. Also, puppies, flowers, and cupcakes. But that's beside the point. If you seem curious about the woman sitting across from you, she will appreciate the attention.

5) Manners. Not to sound creepy, but we are always watching you on a first date. From the things you say to whether or not you chew with your mouth closed, we are observing, because we're trying to judge whether or not you're worth a pursuit. Remember the true southern gentleman thing? Well that comes into play here. Open the door for her at the restaurant, be charming in your conversation (please no 'funny' stories about your roommate's epic beer pong tournament that turned into a very messy night). Walk her home (or ride along in the cab), but whatever you do don't just leave right in front of the restaurant....can you say awkward? 

Hopefully this will help some of the more...challenged members of the male species in their efforts of snagging the perfect girl. Until next time!