Watching People

So, I'm sitting in my favorite coffee shop on the best college campus in the world, happily sipping hot chocolate. You might be thinking, coffee shop....saturday night.....um, lame? But I'm telling you, there is no better place to practice God's best gift to mankind - people-watching.

Now, granted, I don't mean creeping. Creeping is creepy no matter which way you turn it - like that girl in the tree in the new cell phone commercial. People-watching is different altogether. It's a test of observance; for example, who can find the most interesting person, or the tallest, etc.

For those that have people-watched in the past, you probably understand where I'm coming from on this. College campuses, malls, and the pool are other great places to people-watch. However, I think coffee shops trump them all.

You get your regular creepers and strange-o's, like the guy who just came in and ordered coffee, danced around while he decided whether or not to order a slice of pie, and then introduced himself to me before he paid. Sir, I'm a customer too. I don't need to know your name. But, given that I'm a relatively polite person I accepted the introduction and smiled.

Okay. So besides the regular creepers and strange people that come through on a nightly basis, there are quite a few hunks at coffee shops. The kind of guys that make you double-take from your laptop, and are so oblivious to their own attractiveness. The kind with smiles that will make you melt right off your chair.

Have you ever been people-watching? What's the best or strangest encounter you've ever had?

Breakups

Boys. There are some good ones out there, and there are some bad. There are those that you would never trust, and those that you trust with all of your heart. And sometimes, those boys that you trust with all of your heart turn around and stab you with it.

How do I know?

I have officially joined the ranks of single women everywhere.

Ah, yes, back to the single life. So far? It sucks. The week following a horrific breakup is always the worst, and believe me I'm feeling it.

Any good breakup stories you want to share?

Valentine's Day. The most strings-attached, expectation-inducing, gift-requiring holiday of pretty much any holiday of the year. Especially for those of us who aren't single. But is it really wrong to want those things?

I remember being single. I say that with the fondness of knowing the single life on this special day for 18 years in a row, so believe me, I know. I always wished for things on Valentine's Day, but I didn't expect to get them. I mean sure, every girl has her fantasy about the greatest boy in the planet waltzing up on Valentine's with a bouquet of roses and whisking her off on horseback into the sunset. Come on.

I found, however, that being in a relationship during Valentine's Day completely changed my expectations of how it should go. I didn't wish for flowers anymore, part of me actually expected them. I didn't just want a card, I expected there to be one in my college mailbox.

Is that wrong?

The funny thing for me was that even though I am in a relationship, it was still like being single today. Wishing for things that you know aren't coming. So, in a way, my world didn't really change. I have some pretty amazing friends though - and those are the best people to spend Valentine's with anyways.

Thoughts?

Flowers, rings, and other things

What is love?

Age-old question right? You ask and older people always say, "well there's no good answer to that." You walk away think yeah right and vow to discover the answer yourself, only to discover that they were actually right all along. But if there is no straight answer, how in the world do you define it? How do you know?

My first marriage was absolutely beautiful. It was the perfect fall day: a crisp breeze, bright sunshine and  beautiful colors. My uniform was pressed and pleated, my flower ring was gorgeous, and my five year old future husband looking very handsome in his dress shirt. It was never made legal, of course, but we were quite the kindergarten couple.

But I wasn't in love. I sure thought I was (how could you not at 6 years old?) Then, first grade rolled around and all of a sudden, my husband didn't want to play on the playground with me anymore. He didn't want to swing, or play cards, or anything - he didn't even want to be friends. I was so upset I went home in tears. My mom comforted me, and I turned to her and said, "mom, you don't understand, once you put your love in someone you can never get it back!" I had no idea how insightful those words were at the time, and how true they would become in my life.

I didn't have any other marriages during my elementary school years, and as I progressed into middle school, and then into high school, boys started to come and go. Most were just good friends, others were actual interests. As I started to get the hang of the dating game, I realized how right I was as a little girl.

Every guy I was interested in that came and went took a little piece of me with them. I couldn't help it - it's the type of person I am. When I date, I invest in someone. I put in time and consideration (as I assume most women do). And when those guys leave, it's impossible to get that piece of me that I put into them back. So they take it, whether they mean to or not.

I used to think that when I found the person I was meant to be with I would just know. That instantly it would click and we would live happily ever after. (That's what Disney movies led me to believe.) Now, however, I'm not so sure. Is it possible that a click can happen with more than one person? Is your soulmate really one person, or is it a bunch of people? Is the long-term what really counts and not the spark?

I'm a sappy romantic. I absolutely love flowers, home-cooked meals, walking on the beach, slow-dancing - I could go on for hours. Courting and chivalrous men used to exist in the world. But I haven't met a single one yet. This is also a trend I see with many of my friends - all they want is to be courted with flowers, gifts, etc, but there's not a man yet that's done it.

There's a quote from one of my new favorite movies that almost perfectly fits this: "I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason" - Easy A. 


Life is tough. Love is harder. And being a teenager going through both? That's the worst.